I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize