Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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