i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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