it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have tasted many bathrooms
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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