Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
