He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
