I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
