his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He did a backflip because drugs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
