spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
