we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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