When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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