I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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