whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
