Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
