Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
