Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
