so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
