the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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