working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize