hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize