i always forget guys have bellybuttons
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
