Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
