Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
