note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
