take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
