i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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