You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
