I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
