Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
