Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
