Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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