I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
