exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
