He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
