I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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