im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
