what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
