Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
