just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
