Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sarcasm needs its own font
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
