I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
