Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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