You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
