Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
