names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize