So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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