do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
