i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
