we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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