I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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