heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
