she looked like the before picture.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
