The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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