Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
