the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
