wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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