Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
