Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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